I took a huge sip of haterade today and compiled a list of people that I don't want to hear from ever again. They are in no particular order.
Rosie O'Donnell
Donald Trump
Elizabeth Hasselbeck
Karl Rove
George W. Bush
Dick Cheney
Mary Cheney for that matter (where are the pix of the REAL family - Mary, her partner, and the baby?)
Mitt Romney
John McCain (actually, Bush's puppy needs a muzzle and possibly housebreaking pads, too)
Dennis & Callahan
My boss
Pope Benedict XVI
A-Rod
Jeremy Jacobs
Danny Ainge
Toby Keith
Sanjaya Malakar
Curt Schilling
Johnny Damon
Pile on!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Sweeps, Superstitions, and the Return of O.D.D.*
*Original Dirt Dog
See, I knew it. I knew that if I started writing this post with the word 'sweeps' in the title, the Sox would blow the lead. But I did it anyway. Blame me.
Another one of my superstitions is to not talk about the l**d the Sox have in the A.L. East. Been there, done 1978. This is part of the reason why I haven't been blogging. I don't want to gloat & bring the house down around my ears.
This has nothing to do with the fatalism that seems to be a dominant gene in Red Sox fans. I'm just neurotic that way. Among my other superstitions: I never toast with plain water (evil eye), nor do I look anyone in the eye when I toast (also evil eye). I don't EVER use the word "quiet" when describing a night at work because I'm absolutely, positively sure that the moon will suddenly turn full and everyone in a 25 mile radius will have a crisis.
Strangely enough, I've always considered Friday the 13th a lucky day.
So as the Cleveland Indians pile onto their lead (it's now 8-2, top of the 8th), I resort to making up nicknames. Either that or I will have to break out the bottle of holy water that my mother brought back from the shrine in Fatima, Portugal.
(My mother apparently hasn't grokked onto the fact that her eldest is a very lapsed Catholic but that's another post for another time.)
Ahem...nicknames.
"Original Dirt Dog" (O.D.D.) - Trot Nixon (obviously). Welcome back, Trot. If it's any consolation, Wily Mo looks worse against lefties than you ever did. Speaking of the latter, he's "Wily Less" or "Big Breeze". (Yeah, I'm over the Wily Mo Pena experiment.)
"Candlepins for Cash", "Bocce Boy"- Julian Tavarez
"Doogie Howser" - Dustin Pedroia
Mrs. Potato submits the following: "WooHoo Drew" (because he's cute, slumps notwithstanding)
Well, that took me through the rest of the game. Final score: 8-4, Cleveland. Two out of three ain't bad. Yankees come back to town for the weekend. Keep your fingers crossed.
See, I knew it. I knew that if I started writing this post with the word 'sweeps' in the title, the Sox would blow the lead. But I did it anyway. Blame me.
Another one of my superstitions is to not talk about the l**d the Sox have in the A.L. East. Been there, done 1978. This is part of the reason why I haven't been blogging. I don't want to gloat & bring the house down around my ears.
This has nothing to do with the fatalism that seems to be a dominant gene in Red Sox fans. I'm just neurotic that way. Among my other superstitions: I never toast with plain water (evil eye), nor do I look anyone in the eye when I toast (also evil eye). I don't EVER use the word "quiet" when describing a night at work because I'm absolutely, positively sure that the moon will suddenly turn full and everyone in a 25 mile radius will have a crisis.
Strangely enough, I've always considered Friday the 13th a lucky day.
So as the Cleveland Indians pile onto their lead (it's now 8-2, top of the 8th), I resort to making up nicknames. Either that or I will have to break out the bottle of holy water that my mother brought back from the shrine in Fatima, Portugal.
(My mother apparently hasn't grokked onto the fact that her eldest is a very lapsed Catholic but that's another post for another time.)
Ahem...nicknames.
"Original Dirt Dog" (O.D.D.) - Trot Nixon (obviously). Welcome back, Trot. If it's any consolation, Wily Mo looks worse against lefties than you ever did. Speaking of the latter, he's "Wily Less" or "Big Breeze". (Yeah, I'm over the Wily Mo Pena experiment.)
"Candlepins for Cash", "Bocce Boy"- Julian Tavarez
"Doogie Howser" - Dustin Pedroia
Mrs. Potato submits the following: "WooHoo Drew" (because he's cute, slumps notwithstanding)
Well, that took me through the rest of the game. Final score: 8-4, Cleveland. Two out of three ain't bad. Yankees come back to town for the weekend. Keep your fingers crossed.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
A Mother of a Comeback
The Red Sox beat the Baltimore Orioles today behind a 6-run comeback in the bottom of the ninth. Stymied by Baltimore pitcher Jeremy Guthrie, who gave up only 3 hits and no runs in 8 1/3, Boston's hitters sprang to life when the young righty was inexplicably lifted from the game with one out in the ninth and after throwing only 91 pitches. Even money says Baltimore manager Sam Perlozzo would like to have that move back.
The Red Sox quickly loaded the bases against reliever Danys Baez and closer Chris Ray and patiently chipped away at the lead until Julio Lugo came to bat with 2 outs and the bases loaded. He hit a hard, high chopper which was fielded by Kevin Millar ranging to his right. Lugo's speed forced Millar to make a bad throw to Ray, who ran to cover first. The throw clanked off of Ray's glove and Lugo slid into the bag safely as Jason Varitek and Eric Hinske crossed the plate. The play was initially scored as an error on Ray but was later changed to an RBI single for Boston's speedster shortstop.
The excitement overshadowed the game's darkest moment when Josh Beckett left after only 4 innings of work. Down by a score of 2-0 after giving up both of those in the first, Beckett was dealing. He already had 7 strikeouts on the day and had great command of all of his pitches. The report from the team is that he has an avulsion on his right middle finger - essentially a skin tear (not a blister, thankfully). It will need time to heal and there is a possibility he could miss his next scheduled start.
Boston takes 2 of 3 from the Birds with the AL Central-leading Detroit Tigers headed into town for a four game set. The Tigers are also streaking, boasting a 9-1 record in their last 10 games. Daisuke Matsuzaka faces Detroit lefty, Nate Robertson.
************
Happy Mother's Day! It was great to see the pink bats, sweatbands, and ribbons on the field today. (just wondering - did the Sox have a custom made pink gag for Schilling?) Again, I'd like to remind folks to please support the efforts to find a cure for breast cancer.
The Red Sox quickly loaded the bases against reliever Danys Baez and closer Chris Ray and patiently chipped away at the lead until Julio Lugo came to bat with 2 outs and the bases loaded. He hit a hard, high chopper which was fielded by Kevin Millar ranging to his right. Lugo's speed forced Millar to make a bad throw to Ray, who ran to cover first. The throw clanked off of Ray's glove and Lugo slid into the bag safely as Jason Varitek and Eric Hinske crossed the plate. The play was initially scored as an error on Ray but was later changed to an RBI single for Boston's speedster shortstop.
The excitement overshadowed the game's darkest moment when Josh Beckett left after only 4 innings of work. Down by a score of 2-0 after giving up both of those in the first, Beckett was dealing. He already had 7 strikeouts on the day and had great command of all of his pitches. The report from the team is that he has an avulsion on his right middle finger - essentially a skin tear (not a blister, thankfully). It will need time to heal and there is a possibility he could miss his next scheduled start.
Boston takes 2 of 3 from the Birds with the AL Central-leading Detroit Tigers headed into town for a four game set. The Tigers are also streaking, boasting a 9-1 record in their last 10 games. Daisuke Matsuzaka faces Detroit lefty, Nate Robertson.
************
Happy Mother's Day! It was great to see the pink bats, sweatbands, and ribbons on the field today. (just wondering - did the Sox have a custom made pink gag for Schilling?) Again, I'd like to remind folks to please support the efforts to find a cure for breast cancer.
Friday, May 11, 2007
While I've Been Sleeping
I haven't posted in awhile because my work schedule went awry and I missed most of the last week of games. However, I've been following the doings in baseball and around the world and thought I'd share some of my experiences and observations.
*****
A reader named "citylights" posted this comment in my blog. Being curious by nature, I checked out the url & discovered that there is a new reality show in the works that will be featuring people in need of etiquette training. To paraphrase the ad: the ruder, the better.
And I was asked to audition.
I'm rude? Arrogant maybe, a *cough*tad*cough* insufferable...but rude & unschooled in etiquette? Hell, I know where the dessert fork goes!
*****
A demented patient asked me today "Why are we in Iraq? And why hasn't Congress impeached 'The Bushman'?"
I had no answer for him.
*****
What do these 3 events have in common?
1) The Black Death
2)The Sinking of the Titanic
3) The Valerie Plame affair
Why, they're all Curt Schilling's fault! Just ask Dan Shaughnessy! Rumors about fake bloody sox? Curt is to blame. Pedro leaves town? All Curt's fault. Roger Clemens signs with the Yankees? #38 is too busy sounding off on his blog instead of beleaguering the Rocket with phone calls like Derek Jeter did.
Did you ever get the feeling that CHB fantasizes about what the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List would look like if he ruled the U.S.? I imagine it would look something like this:
1) Curt Schilling
2) Osama Bin Ladn
3) Curt Schilling
4) Whitey Bulger
5) Curt Schilling....
Shank isn't entirely blameless, though. Talk about a mutually parasitic relationship! Curt, referring to him in your blog as "she" is a weak attempt at both humor and insult. For one thing, I think you're too intelligent to sink that low. For another, it's decidedly un-Christian. And lastly, you have a wife and daughter who are presumably "she's." How do you think that makes them feel?
*****
Speaking of "she"... The MLB is again honoring Mother's Day and supporting breast cancer research this Sunday by rolling out the pink bats again. The number of major leaguers who are expected to participate is reportedly double that of last year's. Like last year, game-used and team-autographed bats will be available for auction in the near future, with proceeds going to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. If you, like me, aren't able to participate in the auction, please consider making a donation. The link to the Foundation is on this page.
*****
After 33 games, the Red Sox have the second-best record in the MLB. In first place... the Milwaukee Brewers??? How does this happen?
*****
Kevin Millar and the Baltimore Orioles fly into Fenway tonight for the start of a 10 game homestand. The Sox have played 20 of their first 33 games on the road; time for a little home-cooking to get the silent bats (Ramirez, Drew, Lugo) going again. Julian Tavarez faces Brian Burres at 7:05 pm.
*****
A reader named "citylights" posted this comment in my blog. Being curious by nature, I checked out the url & discovered that there is a new reality show in the works that will be featuring people in need of etiquette training. To paraphrase the ad: the ruder, the better.
And I was asked to audition.
I'm rude? Arrogant maybe, a *cough*tad*cough* insufferable...but rude & unschooled in etiquette? Hell, I know where the dessert fork goes!
*****
A demented patient asked me today "Why are we in Iraq? And why hasn't Congress impeached 'The Bushman'?"
I had no answer for him.
*****
What do these 3 events have in common?
1) The Black Death
2)The Sinking of the Titanic
3) The Valerie Plame affair
Why, they're all Curt Schilling's fault! Just ask Dan Shaughnessy! Rumors about fake bloody sox? Curt is to blame. Pedro leaves town? All Curt's fault. Roger Clemens signs with the Yankees? #38 is too busy sounding off on his blog instead of beleaguering the Rocket with phone calls like Derek Jeter did.
Did you ever get the feeling that CHB fantasizes about what the FBI's Ten Most Wanted List would look like if he ruled the U.S.? I imagine it would look something like this:
1) Curt Schilling
2) Osama Bin Ladn
3) Curt Schilling
4) Whitey Bulger
5) Curt Schilling....
Shank isn't entirely blameless, though. Talk about a mutually parasitic relationship! Curt, referring to him in your blog as "she" is a weak attempt at both humor and insult. For one thing, I think you're too intelligent to sink that low. For another, it's decidedly un-Christian. And lastly, you have a wife and daughter who are presumably "she's." How do you think that makes them feel?
*****
Speaking of "she"... The MLB is again honoring Mother's Day and supporting breast cancer research this Sunday by rolling out the pink bats again. The number of major leaguers who are expected to participate is reportedly double that of last year's. Like last year, game-used and team-autographed bats will be available for auction in the near future, with proceeds going to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. If you, like me, aren't able to participate in the auction, please consider making a donation. The link to the Foundation is on this page.
*****
After 33 games, the Red Sox have the second-best record in the MLB. In first place... the Milwaukee Brewers??? How does this happen?
*****
Kevin Millar and the Baltimore Orioles fly into Fenway tonight for the start of a 10 game homestand. The Sox have played 20 of their first 33 games on the road; time for a little home-cooking to get the silent bats (Ramirez, Drew, Lugo) going again. Julian Tavarez faces Brian Burres at 7:05 pm.
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